At a Glance
The fastest way to make friends in student housing is to be visible and approachable in the first few days, when everyone’s in the same boat and looking to meet people. Keep your door open, sit in the common areas, and say yes to events.
Three moves that work almost every time: introduce yourself to your neighbours on day one, spend evenings in the shared lounges instead of your room, and invite someone to a small low-stakes plan — food, a study session, a walk — rather than waiting to be invited.
If you’re shy, lean on structure. Clubs, events, and shared interests give you a built-in reason to talk, which beats cold small talk. Consistency matters more than charisma: showing up is what turns new people into real ones.
Why the first week matters so much
Move-in has a quiet superpower: for the first few days, everyone is in the same boat — equally new, equally unsure, equally open. Not everyone has a friend group yet, and social circles haven’t hardened. The same introduction that feels awkward in November is completely normal on the first day of the school year, because every single person around you is hoping someone else will break the ice first.
That’s your window. You don’t have to find real friends on day one — you just have to plant enough seeds that a few of them grow. The students who end up with a solid circle usually aren’t the most outgoing; they’re the ones who put themselves in the right places early and kept showing up. The whole idea is simple: be where people are, often.
It’s one of the best parts of the early university experience, and it starts the moment you arrive in a new place. Whether this is your first year of college or a transfer into a new university, these early days shape your whole social life on campus.
The first 48 hours: your fastest wins
The first couple of days around move-in are the single best chance you’ll get. Here’s a simple plan:
| When | What to do |
|---|---|
| First 48 hours | Meet your neighbours, help carry boxes, keep your door open |
| The first few days | Say yes to every event in your residence |
| The next stretch | Turn hellos into standing plans — meals, the gym, a study group |
| Later on | Join clubs and mix your residence, class, and social circles |
- Introduce yourself to the people next door. Knock, smile, give your name, ask theirs. The neighbours down the floor are your easiest first friends because you’ll see them constantly.
- Help carry boxes. Offering a hand is the most natural icebreaker that exists, and it skips small talk entirely.
- Keep your door open while you unpack. Open doors are an invitation; people walking past will glance in, smile, and say hi.
- Show up to the first event, even alone. Orientation mixers are there so you don’t have to engineer it yourself — an easy first step.
Your open door is the best tool you have
It sounds almost too simple, but keeping your door open is the most reliable friend-making habit in any residence. A shut door says “leave me alone”; an open one says “come say hi.” For the first couple of weeks, leave it open whenever you’re home and awake — you’ll be amazed how many chats start with someone walking past and a quick smile.
Small touches help: snacks to share, music playing quietly, a poster that hints at what you’re into. The same logic works in reverse — when you pass someone with their door open, a quick “hey, I’m in 412, just moved in” costs you nothing and lands more often than you’d guess. Open doors, on both sides, are how floormates turn into friends. Most people are relieved someone else went first, and that one sentence is often all it takes to start a real bond that carries the whole year.
Live in the shared lounges, not just your room
The biggest mistake new students make is treating their room as the default. Your room is comfortable, private, and a social dead zone — nobody meets anyone while scrolling alone behind a closed door. The friendships happen in the communal areas: lounges, kitchens, study rooms, the gym.
This is where the design of where you’re living genuinely matters. A building built around shared amenities — study lounges, a fitness space, social lounges, outdoor areas — makes casual run-ins happen naturally. At The Els, those areas exist to pull people out of their suites and into the same lounge. Living in a university residence near other students only helps if you actually use the shared areas, so make a habit of sitting where people gather. Try doing your reading in the lounge or the library instead of your room a few evenings; sit somewhere others gather, hang around a little, and you’ll start recognizing faces fast. A comfortable place to sit near other people does half the work for you.
Say yes to events
For the first month, adopt a simple rule: say yes to anything your residence or floor organizes. Movie nights, game nights, welcome socials, study breaks — these events exist to solve exactly the problem you have. They create a reason for everyone to be in one place, so you can meet people without having to engineer it yourself. Sit with someone new, join in the games, and you can meet half your floor in a single night.
Keep an eye on the group chat and the lobby board so you hear about every event. The Els leans into this with monthly community events and socials designed to make connection easy and fun. Going alone is completely cool; you don’t need to arrive with a friend, and that’s the entire point of going. Show up, talk to one or two people, and let it build from there. Even if an event isn’t perfectly your scene, you’ll leave knowing a couple more names — and that’s how new friends start across campus.
Turning your roommate into an ally
Your roommate is your closest built-in connection, and the relationship is worth a little intentional effort early. You don’t have to become best friends, but you do want to become allies. Have an honest chat in the first few days about the basics — sleep schedules, guests, noise, sharing — so small frictions don’t fester. Living well alongside someone is its own skill.
A good dynamic also widens your circle: their friends become your acquaintances, and yours become theirs, a bit like a second family on campus. If you’re moving in without knowing anyone, the matching program (The Els pairs compatible students) means you start with at least one person already in your corner. If you’re still choosing a suite, the floor plans show the shared and private layouts so you can pick the setup that fits how social you want home to feel.
Go beyond home: clubs and class
Your residence is the fastest place to make friends, but it shouldn’t be the only one. Join clubs, intramural teams, or study groups and you’ll meet people — often genuinely cool people — and find people who share your interests rather than just your address. Joining one thing you’d attend anyway is the easiest way to make new friends, and the wider campus community quickly starts to feel like home. The combination — a few friends here, a few from class, a few from a team — builds a real social life at school.
A good trick: invite a friend from your floor to a meeting or the gym. It deepens that friendship and helps you both meet others at once. If you’re interested in something — music, coding, a sport — there’s almost certainly a group for it; if not, that’s your chance to start one. Hang out where people with similar interests gather, whether that’s a meeting or a quiet corner of the library, and new friends tend to follow.
Be intentional about variety, too. If every friend studies your major and lives on your floor, your whole social world rises and falls with one group’s mood. A few friends from a club, one or two from a part-time job, and a couple from class give you a wider, sturdier net — much like family does back home — so a rough patch with one circle won’t leave you feeling lost. You don’t need a huge number of people; you need a few different pockets to dip into. That’s how you find real friends who actually get you.
If you’re shy or anxious
If the idea of knocking on a stranger’s door makes your stomach drop, you’re far from alone — plenty of students feel afraid or find the whole thing scary during move-in. There’s real hope here, though. The trick is to lean on structure and just join in, instead of waiting on spontaneous bravery. A few tips that help:
- Use events as scaffolding. They give you a script and a reason to be there, so you’re not inventing a conversation from scratch.
- Aim for one small interaction a day. Not a new best friend — just one hello to one person. It adds up quickly and builds your confidence.
- Ask questions. People love to chat about themselves; “Where are you from?” and “What are you studying?” carry a lot of first chats.
- Give it time, and don’t worry if it’s slow. Consistency is crucial; friendships form through repeated contact, not one perfect moment. Showing up beats being charming once.
And if you’re having real trouble settling in, or it just feels wrong to force it, that’s worth taking seriously rather than toughing it out — there’s nothing wrong with asking for help, and campus wellness services are there for ordinary settling-in stress, not just crises.
Being the kind of neighbour people want
Making friends is half the equation; maintaining them is the other half — and the cool part is that it gets easier fast. The students people gravitate toward share a few simple habits: they’re considerate about noise and shared living spaces, they follow through on plans, they include the person standing slightly outside the group, and they’re easy and helpful to be around. None of this requires being the loudest in the room — good residents rarely are.
If you want a sense of where all of this plays out, the gallery gives a feel for the lounges and common areas — the rooms where a first hello turns into a real friendship. And if you’re still deciding where to live for 2026, booking a tour is the easiest way to picture yourself somewhere built for meeting people.
Bottom line: making friends faster isn’t about being the most charismatic person around. It’s about being visible, spending time where people gather, and saying yes early and often. Do that, and by midterms you’ll wonder how you ever felt lost in a new place.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to make friends in student housing?
Most students form a few solid connections within the first couple of weeks if they’re active in the common areas and at events. Deeper bonds develop over the semester. The single biggest factor is consistency — being around the same people regularly.
What if I’m really shy?
Use structure to your advantage. Events, clubs, and shared activities give you a built-in reason to interact, which is far easier than starting cold small talk. Aim for one small interaction a day, and a couple of simple tips — ask questions, keep your door open — will carry most early chats.
Should I keep my door open?
Yes, especially in the first couple of weeks. An open door signals you’re approachable and leads to countless casual hellos that turn into friendships. It’s the lowest-effort, highest-return habit in any residence.
What if I don’t click with my roommate?
That’s okay — your roommate doesn’t have to be your best friend, just a respectful ally. Have an early, honest conversation about shared-living basics, and build the rest of your circle through events, the lounges, and campus activities.
Any tips for making friends in off-campus housing?
Off-campus housing takes a bit more initiative than a dorm. Introduce yourself to neighbours, use the building’s communal areas, and swap phone numbers early. Cooking in a shared kitchen or grabbing food together is an easy, low-pressure way to meet people when you’re new to a place.
Is it harder to make friends if I move in late?
A little, since some groups will have started forming, but it’s very doable. Lean extra hard on events, shared lounges, and clubs, where new people are always welcome and circles stay open well past the first stretch of the school year.
Helpful Resources
- University Affairs — creating student connection and belonging — the research on belonging
- Active Minds — student mental health and connection — peer support and resources
- Mental Health Commission of Canada — national mental-health resources
- University of Toronto — Student Life — clubs, events, and getting involved
- Psychology Today — Friends — how friendships form and last
